


death in the family

by valiantlybold



Series: Not Just A Random Dicking [13]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Mechanics, Childhood Trauma, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Vulnerability, Engagement, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, He deserves so much love, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Plans For The Future, Wakes & Funerals, little spoon logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29307048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valiantlybold/pseuds/valiantlybold
Summary: A death in the family brings the brothers together.Bucky comes along for emotional support.Logan neeeds it.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Logan (X-Men), Victor Creed & Logan (X-Men)
Series: Not Just A Random Dicking [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1300253
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

They’re eating Chinese food on the couch when Logan gets the call. Logan snatches his phone up from the coffee table and inspects the number on the screen. Victor? Not uncommon these days, they’ve gotten better at keeping in touch, but Victor usually only calls towards the weekends. It’s Tuesday. That makes it a little bit odd.

“Hey, Vic,” he answers.

_“Jimmy.”_

Logan freezes. That’s…not what Victor usually sounds like.

“Victor,” he says, putting down the take-out box he’d been eating out of. “What’s goin’ on?”

Bucky’s brows furrow as he watches Logan, a questioning look on his face.

Victor lets out a sigh. _“Got some news. Um. Dad’s liver finally gave out. He… He died three days ago.”_

Logan’s caught of guard. He hadn’t expected that. “Oh.”

_“Yeah. Uh. I already got most’a things squared away. Funeral’s this week. Friday. Family plot. Lawyer’s comin’ to handle the will and stuff the day after.”_

Logan swallows. “I’ll… I-...”

_“I’m at the house. So…just drop in. If you’re up for it. I get it, if you’re not, though. But…it’d be good to have ya here for it.”_

“I-… I dunno. I’ll…try.”

_“Okay. See ya then, maybe, I guess.”_

“Yeah. See ya.”

Victor hangs up. Logan does the same. He stares at his phone.

Beside him, Bucky puts his own take-out down and shuffles closer to Logan’s side, wrapping his arm around the man.

“What’s up?” the kid asks softly. “Did something happen?”

Logan nod. “Yeah. That was…Victor. Our dad died. Few days ago.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything. He tugs on Logan’s shoulder, pulling the man to lean against him, hugging him, petting his head gently.

They sit quietly.

Logan isn’t sure how to react to this.

Thomas Howlett was…not a nice man. He’d never been a nice man. He beat on Logan and his brother and their mother for as long as Logan could remember. Logan had been sixteen when their mom killed herself. Victor had been eighteen. They waited until Logan turned eighteen too, before they took off. Headed south to the US, enlisted with the marines, tried to put…all of _that_ behind them somehow.

After their discharges, they lost contact, sure, but they’ve been getting back into it. They’re better at it now. They just…haven’t seen each other face to face in years. They’ve only talked on the phone so far, since reestablishing contact.

Crazy that it’s their dad that’ll be bringing them back together again.

“D’you…wanna talk about it?” Bucky asks, stroking his hand down Logan’s back slowly. “I know your dad wasn’t… I mean, that he hurt you. I’m guessin’ this is pretty confusin’. Conflictin’, I mean.”

Logan lets out a sigh. “Yeah. I guess. Dunno what I’m s’pposed to be feelin’.”

“I understand,” Bucky says. “D’you wanna tell me about it?”

Logan pulls out of Bucky’s embrace. He appreciates it. Really, he does, but… He isn’t up for that right now. Just…not right now. At least Bucky doesn’t fight him on it, or try to stop him. He just keeps petting Logan’s back, as if to keep reminding him that he isn’t alone. Logan says nothing. He doesn’t know _what_ to say. He doesn’t have the words for this.

Bucky takes a deep breath. “Is there gonna be a funeral? Or a wake, or somethin’?” he asks, when Logan remains quiet.

“Friday.”

“You want me to come with you? I know this is probably really hard for you. If you need it, I’ll be with you the whole way.”

Logan reaches his hand out. He places it on Bucky’s thigh, squeezing it gently. Bucky’s too good for this damn world.

“Can we just…keep eatin’ for now? Think I need to…wrap my head ‘round things ‘fore I can talk ‘bout ‘em, y’know?”

When he looks up at Bucky’s face at last, he sees only a soft, loving smile and warm eyes.

“Of course. I’m right here when you’re ready to talk.”

*

They talk the next day.

They lay in bed together as they wake up, curled up around each other under the covers, and Logan talks.

He talks _around_ things, mostly. Doesn’t share too many details about anything. Bucky can’t blame him for that, though. Bucky has never gone through anything like Logan did in his childhood, but he can understand that it isn’t something that’s particularly _easy_ to talk about.

Being treated like that by his own father… Bucky can’t imagine. And Christ, losing his mother like that? It must have been the hardest part of Logan’s life, if Bucky could guess. He can’t really imagine anything worse than all that.

Logan calls his boss while they still lay in bed, and takes a few days off to handle _family business._ Bucky writes out an email to all his professors and his adviser, letting them know he’ll be absent for a week or two due to some unforeseen family matters that need his attention.

“Have you thought about what you’re gonna do?” Bucky asks as they wrap around each other again, after finishing up all that business. “I know we’re goin’ up there, but… Are you gonna go to the funeral? Makes sense if you don’t wanna, but… I think it might give you some closure. Help put it all behind you.”

At that, Logan sighs.

“But I’ve _been_ puttin’ it behind me, since I was eighteen.”

“Then… Think of it as a chance to reconnect with your brother. Yeah, you’ve been talkin’ on the phone, but this is _for real,_ face to face. I’m sure he misses you and wants you in his life. I mean, you _are_ his baby brother after all.”

“Yeah. Maybe.”

“Whatever you wanna do, I support you. Personally, I think it might be good for you if you went to the funeral, _but_ it’s up to you. I’m with you either way.”

“It’s just that… He beat us black and blue. Broke I dunno how many’a my bones. But he was my dad. And now he’s dead. And I dunno how I’m supposed to feel about that.”

Bucky runs his fingers through Logan’s hair with a slow sigh, stopping at the man’s neck to hold his face gently in his hand.

“I don’t think it matters what you’re _supposed_ to be feelin’. What matters is what you _are_ feelin’. So…what’re you feelin’?”

Logan rolls over onto his other side. Bucky shuffles up close to his back, wrapping around him, kissing the nape of his neck. He braids their fingers together on Logan’s chest, holding him tight.

“Sad. Angry. Anxious, for some reason. _Relieved._ And…mad at m’self for bein’ relieved.”

Bucky kisses at Logan’s neck again. He listens as Logan talks.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s four hours by plane, then another three by car. They don’t talk much during the trip itself. There isn’t much to say, Bucky supposes. Logan isn’t exactly a chatter-box on the best of days so Bucky can’t expect him to be on an occasion like this. As long as he knows he had Bucky by his side for anything and everything, they don’t need to talk much at all.

Cold Lake is a tiny, tiny town. They drive from one end to the other in no time, it feels like. The nature surrounding the town is beautiful, though. Bucky’s amazed. The world outside the rental car window seems tranquil and peaceful.

Logan drives them down a winding gravel road for a long while. The road snakes through the trees, and even runs alongside the lake for a bit.

Bucky’s amazed once more when they come through the thicket of trees. An enormous house stands solitary in a wide field of wild-grown grass. More a mansion than a house, really. It looks luxurious, despite its sad state. Logan’s father probably didn’t have the strength left in him in the later years to care for the place as he might once have done.

“You lived here?” Bucky has to ask once Logan has parked.

“Yeah. Looked a lot better back in the day, though,” Logan says, also looking up at the house. “See that window up there, on the corner?”

Bucky squints up at the window in question.

“Yeah? What about it?”

“Used to be my room. But I switched with Victor when I was ten, though. Always loved the view from his room better, and he traded with me for my tenth birthday. Best present I ever got. Could see the lake and the whole grove. Even the mountains, if it was a clear day.”

Bucky turns to look at Logan again. The man was smiling, eyes still on the mansion.

“C’mon. Let’s get inside. I wanna see that view, _and_ I wanna meet your brother.”

“Go on. I’ll grab the bags.”

Bucky smiles. He leans in and presses a quick kiss to Logan’s cheek before climbing out of the car. Oh, God, he hasn’t even noticed how stiff and locked up his body’s become after all this sitting around. He stretches his arms out above his head as he shuffles up the dirt driveway to the steps of the mansion.

The marble steps were covered in dirt and grime, the planters on either side completely overgrown with weeds. He tries the tall, ornate doors, and finds it be unlocked. It swings open with a whine of the hinges.

“Hello?” he calls out as he enters. “Victor?!”

The vestibule is large and lavish, albeit covered in dust and cobwebs. The lights are dim and yellow, and the air smells stale and stuffy.

“Who are you?”

Bucky jolts at the voice, turning towards it swiftly. His eyes lands on a man who stands at the top of the grand staircase.

 _“I said,_ who are you?” he repeats, beginning to walk slowly down the steps.

“Sorry! I’m Bucky,” the kid says. “I’m Logan’s fiance. He’ll be here in a minute. Just getting the bags.”

The man, Victor, hums. He walks the rest of the way down the stairs, and offers his right hand to Bucky.

“Good to meet ya,” he says. “Jimmy talk a lot ‘bout ya.”

Bucky tries to smile as he shakes Victor’s hand. “You too, on both counts.”

“Wasn’t sure he’d come,” Victor says then, as they take their hands back.

“Wasn’t sure I was comin’ either.”

Bucky’s turns again. Logan stands in the door, their bags deposited on the floor. The brothers only looks at each other for some moments, regarding one another.

“Good to see ya, Victor. I…”

“Yeah. You too.”

Logan clears his throat. He steps fully inside finally, to stand at Bucky’s side. Bucky is comforted by Logan’s warm hand coming to rest at the small of his back.

“You met Bucky. I…needed the moral support, I guess.”

Bucky smiles again. “It’s great to finally meet you, Victor,” he says. “Shame about the circumstances, of course. I’m…sorry. For your loss.”

Victor nods. He crosses his arms tightly, as if uncertain of what to do with his hands. “You should get settled in. I aired out our old rooms. Put in fresh sheets. Was gonna call and see if the pizza place in town’d deliver out here. Guessin’ you guys’re pretty hungry. Long trip, right?” he says.

Logan says nothing. From the look of him, Bucky would guess he doesn’t know _what_ to say.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Bucky answers in his place. “You can go ahead and order anythin’ you like, if they deliver. I’m sure we’ll enjoy it no matter what it is. I know I will, anyway. I’m _starving!”_

Logan breaks his eyes away from his brother finally.

“Yeah. Sure. We’ll just…take a minute and settle in.”

While Logan hurries to shut the door finally and grab their bags again, Victor swiftly disappears further into the house.

Bucky and Logan go upstairs. Bucky marvels at the luxurious splendor of the place. He feels completely out of place! Imagine that, a random kid from Brooklyn ending up walking through a mansion like _this!_

“Who’s this guy?” Bucky asks as they pass an enormous painting mounted on the corridor wall, a portrait of a scowling old man.

“Grandpa. Thomas Logan Howlett Senior,” Logan says. “Dad didn’t wanna be the next _senior,_ so he broke the tradition. Victor got, well, _Victor,_ and I got Logan instead.”

Bucky hums, still admiring the painting. It was quite a piece of work, despite the motif.

They move on.

Logan leads the way to a room at the far back of the building. The room isn’t anything special. It’s neat and tidy, though hidden under a layer of dust. The big windows are open, though, a breeze washing into the house. The windows face out the back. The wild lawn continues for a good while before it meets the grove, a small gathering of trees cut off from the woods that edges up along the side of the property. Bucky can just barely see the shape of the mountains in the far distance.

“It’s beautiful,” Bucky says. He can see why Logan wanted this room so badly.

He sits down on the seat under the windows, half facing out to the view. Logan sits down just behind him, his arms wrapping around the kid. Bucky leans back into the embrace.

“How are you?” Bucky asks.

The older man lets out a sigh. “I dunno. Guess it’s good to see Victor again, but… Feels like we’re strangers. Talked on the phone a lot, but it feels _different_ when it’s in person. I don’t even know him anymore.”

“Then get to know him again. Only way to stop being strangers is to get to know each other. You’re already on the way back to knowing each other, so go the last distance. I’m sure if you reach out, he’ll be happy to meet ya halfway.”

He smiles when Logan kisses his neck, nuzzling against him and breathing in his scent.

“You’re right,” Logan says.

“I’m always right.”

“Yeah, you are. C’mon. Lemme show you ‘round the house. Don’t want you gettin’ lost on your way to the kitchen or somethin’.”

They both laugh.

*

Dinner is pizza in the grand dining hall, and it is pretty damn _grand._ The carved mahogany table could’ve easily seated thirty people, with room to spare, and the walls are covered in family portraits in elegant gilded frames.

Three of them sit clustered on one end of the long table. Bucky sits at the head with Victor and Logan on either his sides.

It’s…tense. And quiet. The only sounds are the three of them chewing and the ticking of the grandfather clock outside in the hallway.

“So…” Bucky starts in an attempt to break the awkwardness. “The funeral is tomorrow, right?”

Victor nods, sipping his beer quickly to wash down a bite of pizza. “Yeah. The family plot in the cemetery back in town. Goes all the way back to the old fuck who first built this damn house.”

“Anyone else gonna be there?” Logan asks.

His brother shrugs. “Put the word out. The company. Any family I can remember. But…I dunno. I doubt it.”

“Yeah, he weren’t good at keepin’ friends,” Logan agrees. “Don’t really know what _we’re_ doin’ here, either.”

Victor lets out a sigh. “Me either. I just wanna be done with all’a this. Get it over with.”

“Same here,” Logan says. “Get outta this shithole and never come back.”

Bucky stretches his hands out. He lays it on Logan’s, holding it tightly. He rests his other on Victor’s arm. They both need support, it seems like.

“It’ll be over soon,” Bucky tells them softly. “He’s gone. He might’ve had power over you once. But not anymore. He can’t hurt you. He hasn’t been able to hurt you in a very long time.”

Logan squeezes his hand. Victor swallows.


	3. Chapter 3

The car ride to the cemetery feels incredibly long.

Bucky holds Logan’s hand tightly. Victor drives the car in silence.

The weather doesn’t seem to fit, Bucky decides once they reach the cemetery. The sky is clear and the sun shines. It feels like it should’ve been pouring rain; or at least _partly cloudy,_ for God’s sake!

They walk a small path to the family plot, snaking down the paths deep into the graveyard. Their destination is near the far edge from the entrance. Given the family’s age, the Howlett plot is probably from _very_ early in the town’s history _and_ the cemetery’s history. It was probably within its original confines, before the cemetery expanded as time went on and more space was needed.

A priest meets them by Thomas’ personal plot within the designated Howlett family area. The casket is as usual placed above the hole, waiting to be lowered in.

There’s no one else there for the occasion. Just Bucky and the brothers.

The priest reads from his small, leather-bound bible, preaches to the congregation of three.

Bucky steps closer to Logan’s side. Takes his hand again and holds it tight, caressing his arm with the other, reminding him that he isn’t alone. He’s glad to see Logan place his other hand on Victor’s shoulder, doing the same for his brother as Bucky did for him.

Neither brother speaks up when the priest asks if anyone would like to say a few words about the deceased.

And that was the whole of it.

They leave. Bucky holds Logan’s hands tightly as they all walk away.

“Lawyer’ll be at the house some time tomorrow. Might give him a call, see if I can get a more exact time,” Victor says lowly as they finally reach the parking lot after the long walk. “What d’you think he’s got to say?”

Logan shakes his head. “No clue. Probably left it all to you. Me bein’ the family disappointment and all. ‘Least _you_ visited.”

At that, Victor scoffs. “Yeah, you were the only thing he talked about. I think he might’a actually missed ya.”

“Well, if he’d treated us all a lil’ better, maybe we both would’a stayed.”

“Guess you ain’t wrong on that.”

They get into the car, and head back to the house.

*

“How are you?” Bucky asks once he can close the bedroom door behind Logan and himself.

Logan sits down on the edge of the bed with a sigh, undoing a few button on his white shirt.

“I dunno. Just…glad that part’s over, I guess? Wish we could just go back home. Get back to normal.”

Bucky stands before him. He runs his fingers through Logan’s hair, making the man smile as he looks up at him.

“Just one more day,” Bucky says. “Just the will left, then it’ll be over. But come on, honey… Is it really that bad? Yeah, things were bad when you were kids, but now you at least get to reconnect with Victor, right?”

Logan’s warm hands feel good as they rest on Bucky’s hips.

“Maybe you’re right. Yeah, our dad was a grade A asshole, but… Maybe him dyin’ _is_ a chance for a new start. At least for me and Vic,” he said softly.

Bucky lets out a soft breath. He caresses Logan’s face gently. He runs his fingers over the man’s little wrinkles and along his stubble.

“Exactly,” Bucky agrees. “You’re brothers. You just…gotta _remember_ that, is all.”

Logan rests his head against Bucky’s belly, arms wrapping around him. Bucky smiles to himself. He pets the man’s head gently, stroking down his back, holding him.

“Let’s rest for a bit, yeah? Then…maybe we can start goin’ through the house, seein’ if there’s anythin’ you wanna bring home with you. Mementos, and stuff, y’know?”

The older man sighs. “Yeah. Yeah, sounds good.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Your father’s will is relatively simple,” the lawyer tells them all, gathered in the sitting room. “He leaves everything to you, equally divided between you. The house, the money, the company stocks, everything he owned.”

Logan wasn’t expecting that. Partly, he expected Victor to be given priority, since he’s the only one who stayed _somewhat_ in contact with the old bastard; mainly, though, he expected Thomas to pass everything off into the possession of the company, leaving _both_ his sons completely out of it. He sure hated them enough for it, to pull some petty shit like that.

“So we just…divide everythin’ up?” Victor asks.

The lawyer nods. “Pretty much. I had his possessions inventoried as a part of the writing of the will, for just this reason, so all we need to do is go through the list and split things up,” he explains. “The money and the stocks are easy, but the _objects_ are a little harder, of course. Everything has been assigned a monetary value, so what you two need to do, is agree on who gets what until both parties have reached an equal monetary total.”

The brothers look at each other, and Victor looks about as overwhelmed as Logan feels. Bucky pats Logan’s shoulder.

“You get started,” Bucky tells them. “I’ll…put on some more coffee.”

The kid leaves them to it, then, at least for some time.

“Let’s start with the house and the land, shall we?” the lawyer says, removing a thick stack of papers from his briefcase.

*

Logan gets the house and the land. Victor trades his half for their dad’s collection of classic cars, gathered in the massive garage built a bit further down the driveway, out of sight from the main house. Victor gets the art that’s been collected in the house over the years, and Logan gets the folders upon folders of rare collection stamps the old bastard had for some reason.

And so on.

It’s…weird. To go through literally every item their father owned. There’s…more of it than Logan thought there would be. Most of it’s just old garbage; lamps and chairs and bookcases and all the other shit one keeps in a house this fucking massive. There are the larger things, of course, like the cars and the stamps and the art, but it is by a great deal a minority in this pile of crap.

It takes _hours_ and _a lot_ of coffee, but they get through the lawyer’s very long list, and finish off the meeting.

Logan thinks the whole thing was pretty fucking unnecessary, since both he and Victor decide to have the lawyer _sell_ most of it all for them. It’s not like Logan has anywhere to put all the crap he got, and it sure doesn’t seem like Victor’s particularly interested in keeping much of it either.

It’s kind of fucking depressing, in a way. A life (though it was that of an absolutely shitty person who definitely deserved to die) boiled down to nothing more than a list of _things_ to be sold to the highest bidder.

It’s fucked up, but Logan tries not to over-complicate it. This is just what happens when someone dies. Their possessions need to be handled, is all. It’s not like they can just be left to sit for forever. They need to be dealt with. That’s it.

Logan just hopes that when _he_ dies, people will care _a little_ more than people seem to care about Thomas.

They help Victor load a bunch of stuff into his rental car; the small stuff, the few things he’s decided to keep from all of this. The goodbye is a little awkward. Sort of…stiff. But it’s amicable, at least. They promise to talk soon, and to visit when possible. It’ll be easier in a few months, when Bucky and Logan move to New York. Bucky’s got the S.I internship there, and the contracting company Victor works for is based in the city.

Logan hopes it’ll be…good.

Bucky pours them some wine. They sit on the terrace in the back, just watching the sky and the grass and the trees and such. They’ve got a few things to pack up too, before their flight tomorrow. Little things, mementos.

“Think you’re gonna sell the house?” Bucky asks.

“Dunno,” Logan says. “Kinda wanna keep it, kinda _don’t_ wanna keep it. Y’know?”

Bucky nods. “I know. We can leave it for a bit,” he reminds. “You don’t have to decide right away.”

“I know. Kinda thinkin’ maybe we could do somethin’ with the land,” Logan suggests. “Give it to the city, sell it, donate it as a national parks. I dunno. Seems a shame to just...leave it.”

The kid smiles. “Think it’d be a _great_ national park. It’s _beautiful_ here. I’m sure people’ll come in _droves_ just to see it,” he says, then gestures to the landscape. “I mean, look at this _view!_ Who _wouldn’t_ wanna come here?”

It makes Logan smile too. “Yeah. Got that right,” he says. “It _is_ damn beautiful here. Hey, maybe we could…get the house fixed up. Turn it into one’a those, uh, bed and breakfast places? If we can find someone who wants to buy it, I mean.”

Bucky hums as he sips his wine. “That sounds great! It could be one’a those _destination_ things. Y’know, come stay a couple nights, hike around the countryside and all that? I think people would _love_ it,” he agrees. “And _oh,_ this place would be _ideal_ for, like, a wedding or something! I mean, imagine it! A ceremony down there on the grass,” Bucky talks, pointing, seeing the whole thing in detail in his mind. “-and then the reception up in the house and there could be, like, a dance-floor out here on the terrace. I think it’d be _beautiful.”_

Yeah. Logan has to agree. It does sound like it would be beautiful.

“Let’s do that.”

Bucky’s brows furrow as he turns to Logan. “What d’you mean?”

Logan smiles. “Let’s do all that,” he repeats. “Have _our_ weddin’ here. Just like you said it. Ceremony there, dance-floor here, reception in there.”

Bucky _stares_ at him. “I-… Really? You-… You think so?”

“I think...there’s a lotta bad history in this house,” Logan says, as he wraps his arm around his fiance. “And I think it’d be good, to...make at least one really good piece’a history here fore we let it go. Won’t... _erase_ ev’rythin’ that happened, but... It’d ease the pain. I think.”

Bucky wraps his arm around Logan too, fingers running through his hair. “Yeah. I like the sound’a that. _Plus,_ it’d _really_ piss off your homophobic dad.”

That breaks a chuckle out of Logan; he pulls Bucky closer to him. “Got that right,” he agrees. “And hey, ‘fore we leave for the honeymoon, we can _make love_ in ev’ry single room’a this place, t’make him _really_ roll over in his grave.”

Bucky giggles at that too, snuggling against Logan’s side. “I _like_ that idea.”

“So it’s decided, then?” Logan asks. “We’ll get married here?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

“I’d like that too.”

Their wineglasses clink in an unspoken toast.

That’s that, then. Looks like they found a venue for the wedding.

**Author's Note:**

> these,,,,boys,,,,
> 
> i love


End file.
